The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
