So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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