Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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