you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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