You really coming over, don't trick.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
