No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
