she was so not down for the gang bang
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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