she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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