If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
