Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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