Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
false alarm. still invincible.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
