btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We left the knife in your bed.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
