i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
