So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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