you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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