Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
