Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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