It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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