I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
my poor anus
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
