Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
