Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
