Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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