I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
