I showed him my bush... on skype.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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