Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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