i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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