You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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