you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
