he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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