Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
