Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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