Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize