just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize