Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize