You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
