Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
where am i from again
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize