Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
