i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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