just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
