I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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