I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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