Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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