sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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