god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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