I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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