I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
