If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize