I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
