I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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