Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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