Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
