My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
