There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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