I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
