It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
