I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
