wanna go halves on a baby?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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